"About this plan of yours?" asked everyone's favourite priestess-turned-secret-agent.
"Yes Oddball?" replied everyone's favourite suave -yet-annoyingly-camp-villain.
"So what happened to the pesky kids after you captured them twice?"
Mr. NGSPIB's face fell. "I- er… don't actually know."
"Let me guess," sighed Oddball. "You were so exited when you thought of your plan, you never thought to find out what happened to them?"
Mr. NGSPIB contemplated shooting her, but as she was no ordinary agent or henchperson, it simply wouldn't do.
"To the records room?" Prompted Oddball.
"To the records room, Agent O!"
* * *
"Flibbage…?" J enquired of the wilted looking faery. (Beansprout and Yakky were otherwise occupied)
"La,lala.. He's here! He's here! The phantom of the Op- Pardon?"
"Hypothetically, could you use magic to go back in time?"
"Hell yeah, if it's got donkeys, cabbages or a rhyming couplet, I can magic it!" She clicked her heels together, for effect. Nothing happened. "Just- not right now," she added glumly.
"Well what if, at some point in the future, when you've got your magic back, you came back in time to here, and left us something to help us escape, something we wouldn't notice the first time we looked…"
"Like this glob of volatile plastic explosive, cunningly disguised as used gum?" asked Flibbage with a grin peering under the bench.
"Exactly like that."
Flibbage carefully peeled the plastic goo off the seat, "It's on my To-Do list." She shoved it into a crack in the door, which illogically caused it to explode. Flibbage and J were most righteously pleased with themselves.
"Gosh! How the Folk did you manage that?!" cried Beansprout, looking around in surprise.
Flibbage slapped herself on the forehead and turned to J. "Being a sidekick sucks, n'est pas?"
"Damn right."
* * *
"No, No, NO, NO, NO!!!" Yelled Mr. NGSPIB, slamming his fist into a table. "I'm going to go and watch Dawson's Creek, that's the only thing that'll cheer me up after this catastrophe!"
"Or we could invade Faerie before they show up" said Oddball through gritted teeth.
"But- but Pacey and Joey!!!"
"World domination?"
"Oh all right then, as long as we can watch ER when we're finished. And chapter twenty-one of Pearl harbour."
* * *
"Uh, we're still in the middle of NGSPIB HQ! And we just blew up a door, which makes us sort of conspicuous!" Yakky whispered; a pointless exercise because blowing up the door was very loud.
"That's okay, because after I've put the explosives under the bench, I'll get big guns, and I'll put them in- this cupboard here!" Flibbage said straining in vain at a large door. "A little help here? I'm a small and un-magical person right now!"
"Nice!" said Beansprout, "Much as I like my sword, large guns have always amused me."
"Has anyone ever noticed Beansprout's scarily violent tendencies?" said J.
"We don't like to dwell on the matter." Flibbage said matter-of-factly. "Beansprout, can I sit in one of your pockets? Any minute now, henchmen are going to show up and I don't want to be trampled."
"Yes, you can hide in my pocket, coward."
"Cool. So don't be having any sex."
"Talk like that and I'll tread on you." Beansprout answered, picking up her tiny pal. The conversation could have continued, but just at that moment the henchmen ran round the corner. Three of our illustrious quartet took aim. Flibbage tried to sort her hair out.
"At last, some action!" grinned Yakky firing a round into the oncoming guards. Beansprout thought he looked cute. But no-one else did because even if he didn't have scary fangs, J wasn't that way inclined.
* * *
"I told you so!" hissed Cabbage to Red as they sat tied to chairs in the throne room.
"So those aren't our kids?"
"No, they are blatantly evil Deepwater YAK clones!"
"Am I still drunk?"
"Yes."
"Because this doesn't seem to make any sense."
"That has nothing to do with how drunk you are."
Just then, Mr. NGSPIB chose to make his grand entrance. The four clones stood aside as evil Beansprout announced him. "Introducing his supreme evilness the nefarious Mr. NGSPIB!"
"GASP!!!" gasped Cabbage and Red in unison upon realizing the identity of their arch-nemesis.
"I thought I told you to STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY GODDAMN FAERIE REALM!!!" Yelled Cabbage.
"Yeah! And so did I… but I have no authority…" added Red ineffectually.
"Yes. So I decided to take it by force!" Barry [Yes Barry, for it was he! SWERVE!] replied and clapped his hands with glee. "Wow Cabbage! How cool are those tights! Can I touch them?"
"No! Folk off!" Yelled Cabbage and kicked him in the nose.
"Oow! Don't tell me to folk off! It's Meeean!" said Barry indignantly, rubbing his nose. Oddball smacked herself in forehead with disbelief.

WHO IS MR. NGSPIB?
NO WAIT WE ANSWERED THAT ONE.
HOW WILL THEY ESCAPE THE CELL?
DONE THAT TOO.
WILL THEY GET BACK IN TIME TO PREVENT THE INVASION OF FAERIE?
UH… NO.
OH WELL I'M SURE THERE'S SOME ENIGMA CODES LEFT TO KEEP YOU READING
I JUST CAN'T THINK OF ANY RIGHT NOW.
NEXT EPISODE, J GETS SOME ROMANCE, THERE, THAT'LL HOOK YA!
KEEP READING OKAY? I'LL GIVE YOU MONEY!