To recap, "Folk," said Beansprout. For they stood in the grounds of the Faerie palace, but things were very wrong. For a start the sky had that stereotypical angry red look, the trees were all dead and there was lots more mud than usual.
"Eep! We seem to have rather overshot the mark." J yelped.
"Hehe, you said Eep." sniggered Flibbage, without really lightening the mood. Especially since they'd popped into existence in the center of a once ornamental, now slimy, fishpond.
"This definitely doesn't bode well," Yakky added, solemnly squelching his feet. A dead fish with black stripes around its eyes floated past.
"OH NO!!!" cried Flibbage, scooping up the slimy corpse, "They've killed Alice-Cooper-Fins!!! The Bastards!!! WAUUUUUGHHH!" She let out a loud sob and silently fumed for a while, then raised her wand menacingly. "No-one messes with my fish, whoever is responsible for this is gonna pay!
Killing my pets is downright mean,
For answers, I seek the Faerie Queen!"
And without further ado, she used the fabled Faerie-Fat-Heifer-Transfer (as used to escape Bill Gates) spell and two bewildered mules found themselves up to their knees in slimy pond water.
* * *
Deep in the newly constructed dungeons of the palace [before there had just been a really good pit and a lion if I know Cabbage] Cabbage was chained up with proper iron chains (faeries hate iron) and was watching a stalactite form on the ceiling when her daughter appeared in a shower of angry red sparks surrounded by her friends.
"Took your time," mused the Faerie Queen listlessly, "literally, ahaha."
"We've come back to rescue everyone- although why it always has to be us that does the hard work, I don't know." Beansprout chided her.
"Oh don't you start, spawn of evil."
"Pardon?"
"Oh for goodness sake! How do you think the NGSPIB always knew our plans? BARRY RUNS IT! That's why!!!"
"@*$£!~#&%^!?!" yelled Beansprout. "Why is my family so Folking dysfunctional?! ARGH!!!" And at this point, the henchmen who had run to see what all the kerfuffle was about captured them.
* * *
Meanwhile, Barry was seated on the throne in the great hall, rearranging the crown of Faerie on his head.
"Don't you think you should get a more, uh… kingly crown?" asked Oddball
"No way, this one is just so sexy!" Barry replied, tipping the tiara at a jaunty angle, "Just watch, watch this." He clapped his hands authoritatively. "Agent C? C, come in here please!"
A female agent walked in, her dark hair swept back into a ponytail.
"C, don't I look sexy in this cool tiara?" C sighed, and with a withering look, walked out again.
"I told you so." Oddball remarked.
"Shut up, shut up SHUT UP!!!"
"Fine Fred- fine."
Just then there was a knock at the door and several burly henchmen entered, dragging Beansprout, Flibbage Yakky and J along with them.
"Not you again!!!"
"Dad!" fumed Beansprout, "You are so dead when I get at you!"
Barry assumed his evil villain pose, rather spoilt by the tiara, "Yes that's right dearest daughter, I am the leader of the NGSPIB!"
"I know that!"
"Dammit! Anyway, now my plan to takeover is complete and soon I will progress to the real world, because that's where Buffy made her mistake, she didn't go for the root of the problem, this damn magical realm! But you kids! You just won't go away! Buffy killed you- TWICE- yet you came back! We've locked you up, sent you back in time, stolen your magic and weapons, and yet you come back! Well that's going to change because I've got a spell that'll sort you out for good!" he picked up a wand (Being ruler of Faerie has benefits you know, and magic is the first) and took aim.
Imagine the scene matrix style. The camera zooms in to the point of the wand, where in slow motion the spell emerges as a ball of glowing white light, the camera pans back out and tracks around to Barry's point of view as the spell begins to travel through the air towards our heroes. Suddenly things assume normal speed and the lightening ball rockets towards them.
"Stop." Said Flibbage calmly raising a hand.
Cue; a freeze-frame and one of those great 360* bullet time shots of everything frozen.
"Wow Flibbage, that was so cool!" J said looking around in disbelief at the frozen scene as Yakky experimentally poked a Henchman in the ribs.
"Folking amazing." Beansprout added, quickly tying another's shoelaces together, "what did you do?"
"Well, I was really angry about my fish at first, so I never thought about it, but as the daughter of the deposed Queen and rightful heir to the throne, I've become the main protagonist, so I get special powers and shit!"
"But," said Yakky, who as only a semi-human, understood a little better, "Beansprout just found out her dad is the villain!"
"Rightful heir to the throne trumps daughter of the villain."
"Oh okay then, what do you want to do about the scary spell then?" he asked wandering over to the ball of light.
"Don't touch it! It's volatile and I don't know what kind of spell it is."
"Let's send it back to Barry!" said J with considerable glee.
"But that's my Dad! Actually, no, Folk it, nuke him anyway." Said Beansprout, making rude gestures in front of her father's face. "See Yakky, it does not trouble me to dispose of my evil murdering parent."
"Hey!"
Flibbage ignored them as she concentrated on the ball of magic. With a grimace of effort, she grabbed it and turned it around in the air. Then she motioned everybody back into their places.
"Go!" she yelled, and time resumed its normal rate. The magic zoomed back towards Barry, and although Oddball and C dived for cover, he didn't even flinch as it stopped about 0.713mm away from his face.
"Nice try Flibbage," he said with a smile, "But I had a feeling you'd try that, so I made this a spell which bounces." Before they could say 'Folk' it zipped back and hit them, and they disappeared in a stereotypical puff of smoke.

"Fuck!" said Emily indignantly. "That wasn't supposed to happen!" and with an annoyed squeaky noise she dropped her metal, nervous-personality chew-proof biro. What she didn't then expect was for the writing to continue on its own.

"The second thing the ruler of Faerie inherits," said Barry "Is a complete knowledge of the seven key concepts of media and the ability to manipulate the science of Generics. Media Language, Institution, Genre, Representation, Audience, Ideology and Narrative! I have them all!!!
MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!"


*Pan out pan out pan out*
*Cut to black. 'Boom!' Cue graphic*
TO BE CONTINUED…
WHAT WAS THE SPELL?
HOW WILL EMILY AND ALICE RESCUE THEIR PLOT FROM BARRY'S EVIL CLUTCHES?
HOW WILL RED AND CABBAGE COPE?