Volume 1: a Foolish Faerietale
IBYKS: A RECKLESS RETCON
Volume 2: Til Death do us Part
"Happy Birthday, Sweet Fifteen."
Volume 3: Space Opera
"Now the Thugs don't Work..."
Volume 4: Unconventional
Episode#25 "A Clockwork Beansprout."
Volume 5: Happy Endings
Episode#29 "We're off to See a Werewolf..."
Volume 6: Killing Time
"Where is My Happy Ending...?"
Volume 7: Intertextuality
Volume 8: Loose Ends
"Lots of things Begin With Dee."
"Prologue in Manga Form."
INUBUYAKASHA Volume #2“Till Death Do Us Part.”
The return of the worlds greatest heroine, her supernatural sidekick, token male friend and zany family tree, from combined pens of Ally and Em. Enjoy, this story has more of a point!
Prologue; By Ally
(Teen girl Voiceover) Not so long ago- okay, a decade, my friends Flibbage
(Heir to the throne of Faerie), Yakky (Son of Buffy, my arch nemesis,)
and I, accompanied by Flibbage’s little brother Cablim were traipsing
across Nepal in search of some freaky faery prophecy. Amongst other things
a temple nearly collapsed on us and we escaped only by the use of the
secret of good comedy (…timing!). Then along came my parents in a rescue
helicopter before Buffy could hatch another evil plan. Between then and
Cue: dramatic build up to the theme tune, not unlike ‘Its Rainin’ Men’
The writers reached a dead end,
Episode #9; “Happy Birthday, Sweet Fifteen” By Ally [which isn’t fair- she always gets the first episode!]
“Open it, Open it!!!” Leeloo squeaked, dancing from one foot to the other, pigtails waving. Beansprout sighed as she unwrapped the present. “Lools, it’s the last day of term, Everyone here is now over the age of fifteen and the fit lads are watching us. Have a little dign- OH MY GOD!!! It has FLUFF on it!!!” She danced around inanely waving the fluffy notebook and hugged Leeloo hard enough to crack her ribs. “Its pink and fluffy! You’re so sweet!”
Gypsophella (formerly known as Joan) rolled her eyes, quite a feat through the thirty layers of black eyeliner, and handed Beansprout a parcel. “-by the way the 'fit lads'are pointing and laughing.”
“That’s ‘cos they fancy us.” Sprout retorted and Gyps shrugged carefully (She had raised her Gothicness [Hee hee! The word! It’s the word][Authors note; Emily hates this word as it is a word Alice invented that has no grammatical place in the English language. Alice uses this to taunt Emily on a regular basis][...Gothicity? Wait, no. Too much of a Batman vibe.] to an industrial degree and was subsequently scared to move at speed in case she left her face behind). “Wow, the Offspring and Papa Roach!” [And nowadays everyone will read those names and go ‘whoooo?’] [Nah, the Offspring rock. Can’t say I ever really liked Papa Roach. I hate that suicidal music.]
“I would have given you Westlife,” Gyps whispered, “but they only had one copy, and I really wanted it.”
“Gyps, my friend, you can keep it. And there’s no need to whisper, everyone knows your guilty secret.”
They sat on a wall and watched the cars drive past. Lools nudged Beansprout. “Hadn’t you better go home? Family gathering and all that?”
“When I get home I’m going to be in very deep fluff.”[what is with this 'fluff' business? Was Ally channeling the spirit of Winnie the Pooh at the time?]
“Don’t be daft. How could your Mum and Dad be cross on their only child’s birthday?”
“Who said anything about my parents?”
Suddenly a Limosine pulled up to the kerb, a shiny black one with blacked out windows and generally with the blackness. [Urk! Did I really write ‘generally with the blackness’? I’m so inarticulate!][Alas, too many Buffy episodes took their toll]
The door began to open and Beansprout, who had learned the hard way to fear anything stylish, expensive and generally Buffy-esque, dived over the wall into a Rhododendron bush.
Lools and Gyps stared on in wide eyed disbelief as a young man who made the fit lads look rough as fluff,[I cringe with embarrassment] [*Evil cackling*] climbed out and gave them a huge Colgate smile.[I'm pretty certain that this series' conception of Yakky's physical appearance only spirals downwards from this point on. Alternatively these fifteen year old girls might just have rather low standards.][they usually don't]
“Hi, can I ask you something?”
“Anything you want.” Said Lools, practically drooling.
“Your friend, the one who just jumped over the wall in a very cowardly manner, is that Beansprout?”
“Uh, yeah.” She replied crestfallen.
“Good!” the man said and leapt up onto the wall, bringing Lools and Gyps in very close proximity with his gorgeous ass.
“Beansprout? I knew it!”
Beansprout desperately tried to look like a Rhododendron. The man sighed.
“Umm, Go Chelsea?”
“ARGH!” Beansprout stood up so fast she fell over backwards “It’s you!”
Yakky smiled, “Hey! Do you need a lift home?”
“Nope.” She replied bluntly, despite Lools and Gyps making frantic hand signals over the wall at her.
“I don’t get lifts with anyone. Besides, I might end up having more pointless and life threatening adventures. But,” she relented, seeing his crestfallen expression, “if you needed a guide to show you round the town, I suppose I could be persuaded…” Without waiting for an answer she climbed in. Yakky got into the car, waved goodbye to the two drooling girls left behind and drove off. He looked skeptically at her across the car.
“All the ‘Argh! Its you!’ business.”
“Well I thought Buffy might have sent you for a second. Besides, I hadn’t seen you for ten years-”
She punched the dashboard causing small dials to go wobble wobble.
“You used to be all spotty and smelly and gross and now you’re glamorous and rich looking, which is also a Buffy-esque trait might I add, and I’m a scruffy lanky teenager instead of a scruffy lanky kid. How is that fair?!”
Yakky was about to give a profound and corny speech about how only inner strength matters, when a postman standing by the road, frantically flagged them down. He held out a gift-wrapped parcel.
“That’s me.” Said Beansprout, leaning over, to accept the package.
“I was under instruction to make sure you personally recieve this parcel.” Beansprout took it off him in a bemused manner and they drove away.
“What was all that about?” Yakky asked.
“It’s my birthday.”
“ Happy Birthday. Which way is your house?”
“Oh don’t take me back yet. I told Flib that she couldn’t come to school because no one around here believes in faeries, and I think she may be plotting an evil plan.”
“Flib lives with you?”
“No, she’s vis-" Beansprout began, when the parcel suddenly and violently exploded.
WHO SENT THE PARCEL?
WILL FLIBBAGE FORGIVE SPROUT?
DOES ANYBODY REALLY CARE ANYMORE?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON INU-BU-YAK-ASHA!