#29 "We're off to see a werewolf, a wonderful werewolf called Oz."
Earth had been occupied for nearly twenty years, it was now liberated
(from Buffy's rule anyway) by mysterious forces. Sure the planet
still technically was run by the NGSPIB but they had other things to do,
so the populace were feeling quite celebrative.The guards at the ministry
of magical artefacts (Blenheim) had skived off for the evening, and were
too busy gambling and rejoicing to pay any attention to four cynical and
bizarre looking teenagers, even though they were armed and VERY bizarre.
"Yakky," said Flibbage.
"If we were Japanese, You'd be a Youkai [*demon].
Yakky the Youkai, heheheh."
"Shut up, elf."
"I wonder if there's anything here that will lead us to the whereabouts
of the leaders of the NGSPIB." said Beansprout, poking at various
"I know." said J.
"Maybe there's a magic mirror
" said Flibbage.
"We don't need a mirror-"
"Maybe the NGSPIB left a clue." Yakky said.
"J, do you know?" Said Beansprout pointedly.
"Or not-" grumbled Yakky.
"Go on J. Enlighten us." Said Flibbage before another argument
"It's in Nepal."
"Nepal!? Why, out of the entire Universe, is it always Nepal?"
Beansprout raised her hands in desperation.
"Where in Nepal?" said Flibbage, as Beansprout continued her
xenophobic ranting about Nepal in the background.
"Well, that's the bit I don't know
"You're such a useless secret agent J!" Beansprout stopped ranting
to add. Yakky grinned vindictively and stuck out his tongue at J.
"Well it's not my fault, they don't tell first-grade agents that
kind of stuff."
"Ha!" Said Yakky.
"Shh! The lot of you! Honestly!" said Flibbage, "So what
shall we do?
"Well you're the plan-girl."
"Aha! BUT I DO HAVE A PLAN!" Flibbage exclaimed as a little
light bulb went *ping* above her head.
"Well you could have said, you frizzy-haired buffoon."
"But look, look! It's a magic carpet! We'll just fly around Nepal
until we see something that looks evil!"
Beansprout examined the vaguely tatty rug, "Flib, that's a carpet."
"No no, its magic!" The elf replied conspiratorially "Look,
if I just point my wand at it and say, 'Awaken!' it'll- oh."
"I'm sure there's a magic carpet around here somewhere," said
Beansprout soothingly, "we just need to- YAKKY! WHAT ARE YOU EATING?!"
"Grffumpf," answered Yakky guiltily.
Yakky swallowed and picked a feather out of his pointy teeth, "Gryphons."
"DON'T EAT THE MAGICAL FLYING BEASTS THAT WE CAN USE TO GET TO NEPAL
"Good plan," J mused.
"Hey!" said Flibbage disgruntledly.
(*A Brief burst of song echoes through the mountainous landscape, to
the tune we know and love*( the introductory number 'little town' from
beauty and the beast))
town, it was a quiet village (In Nepal),
Naught to do and nowhere to go.
Until a voice woke up all the people,
As it shouted loud-
HELLO? HE-LLO! GET UP! HELLO!!!"
everybody thought it was peculiar,
Yes everybody wondered why,
There were people in the air,
Who didn't seem to care,
That they rode on eagle-lions that could fly.
could write more, but it'd be tacky. Oh what the hell, one more verse
it's tacky but I don't give a toss]
me?" said Sprout, "Could you please help us?,
"We really need a map because,
"We're looking for the evil base-"
"Well go and ask that GODDAMN WEREWOLF OZ!!!"
the mayor, who was very pissed off, as by Nepalese time it was only 2am.
"FEH!- I mean, why?" asked Yakky.
"Don't you know? He is the head of the NRATNGSPIB!"
"What the folk is that, you overweight moron!?" growled Sprout
from the back of her evil snappy gryphon, which was terrorizing the other
three in small insignificant ways. [Well, I know
pets become like their owners, but yeesh]
"The Nepalese Resistance Against the Non-Gender-Specific Persons
in Black, you rude young lady. It is a secret organization, which we can't
tell anyone about, especially not strangers- oh. Crap."
"And where can I find this Oz character?" asked Beansprout sweetly.
"The location of the HQ is about three miles north from here, but
that's even more secret
"Thank you, see ya!"
In a small cave about three miles north of the town of Scheisswetter,
an incredibly handsome man was tuning his guitar and looking moody in
a sexy way, when suddenly four figures appeared dramatically in his vision.
One of them had pointy ears, and looked quite menacing.
"Who are you?" Oz asked annoyedly.
"Oz," said the werewolf-esque one, "You are my FATHER!"
[Can I just say, we wrote this way before Oz
got disillusioned and ran off to the far-east in Buffy. You see, InubuYAKasha
is real, as real as you or me, or Buffy. But WHY? Why did Oz have to go?
Yay to Willow for being a lesbian if she wants to be, but can't Oz have
his own spin-off show, or at least the title role in a film??? And don't
you quote the Oz comic book at me, because frankly it was rather lame][There's
an oz COMIC BOOK?! I wanna read even if it is lame! Why did you not inform
me?][because it's fucking lame...]