wrote this after I got dumped. Here is vengeful, drunken InubuYAKasha
Episode #34 "The laughing Yak." By Emily, destroyer of men.
Flori (her court witch), Flil (The crystallized stem ginger and punk rock
Faery), Phat (The Xmas tree Faery, Guardian of Hip Hop and court interpreter)
and Florz(The chief flower Faery and court psycho nutcase) were drunk.
So was Red. The Baileayves was all gone, as was the Flodka and the Flarchers.
"BURN THEM ALL!"
Cabbage decided, that what she wanted to do right now, was tell her oldest
daughter how awful men were. So she wrought an intricate and powerful
"I wouldsht like to shpeak to Flibbagsh,
Plumpty tumpty dumpty Plibbage
Cabbish, I din' know Flibbidge wash a pieesh of cheesh
The piece of cheese wobbled, for the entire world it looked as though
it was trying to sing the opening bars of 'Cats'. "Thish," burbled
Red, "Is quite probably Beansprout's fault."
Another garbled spell left Beansprout confusedly standing on the floor.
"Mother! Are you drunk?!" she cried, outraged. Red waved her
hand dismissively and ate some chocolate liqueurs.
"Beanshprout Jonesh! Why ish my daughter a cheese?" Slurred
"Interesting question. Ask J."
*. Slurred spell Flash pop.*
"Yeah, you can tell by the ears."
"Hey! I mean Feh, I don't look like J!"
*Yet another spell*
"That's him, note the absence of ears."
"I have ears! Hey, where are we
?" Said J.
"WHY is Flibbage a cheese? I am losing my patience!" said the
Queen beginning to sober up.
"Ynri did it! I didn't ohno." Said J shaking his head furiously
and wondering how dangerous drunk faeries were.
"YNRI!? A-HAH! Someone invoke Ynri!"
"Me, me!"! Said Flil enthusiastically;
great and smelly Ynri,
She who is perfumed of Yak.
Goddess of Yaks, Sheds Werewolves, Violent Girls with Magic Swords, Cheese,
The Conservative Party and Ex-Government Agents Trapped in
Cells with Noisy and Cheerful Little Faeries, We Invoke thee!"
didn't rhyme, you geek." Added Flori, but Ynri appeared anyway.
"What now?" She said, tapping her foot testily.
"My daughter is cheese because of you! I demand you turn her back!"
"You Mortal, dare to command me-?"
"I'm not a mortal, and I'll put you in a marble if you don't do it!"
"EEP!" said Ynri, who was afraid of marbles. [Heehee
threaten her with the Shikon No Tama] Flil, Flori and Florz
burst into fits of giggles. Ynri hurriedly turned Flibbage back to normal.
"I can smile on the old days
I was beauuuutiful then- Yay!"
said Flibbage and banished Ynri crossly with her wand, being this time
prepared for her godly antics.
"That dealt with, perhaps we should be keeping this Thing, whatever
it is, away from the NGSPIB."
"Why did you summon us, anyway?" Flibbage asked her mother.
"I can't remember. Have some beer, sweetie!"
"But we hadn't even finished looking for the NGSPIB HQ! J and I have
no idea where they took us, and Beansprout and Yakky were transported
there by Ynri, so we still aren't anyway near to finding its true location!"
"GAH!!! Folk it!" Yelled Spout, realising that indeed they didn't.
TO BE CONTINUED