"Extra, Extra Special with magic, cheese and Tesco's" -By Emily
a year has passed since the first episodes of InubuYAKasha were written,
based on the small cautionary tale I wrote, which features as the prologue
to episode#1. A tale of Alice's love-life with only the names changed
to protect the (cough) innocent. I know this, because I was writing a
letter in an art exam when the characters first appeared, and I am in
an art exam now. Art? Hah! I am bored with it][But
you can't give it up. It's like a drug to you.][Since
that first fateful letter in which I was musing on inventions such as
the full-sized solid chocolate pig, and a washing powder called Flish][this
poorly masked satire of our lives (and blatant pisstake of everything
in the world ever) has become a full blown serial story, published if
only so the public can say 'Huh? I don't get it! How is a yak funny?'
So anyway, from the makers of 'Something-or-other FM', 'The (Fill in blank)
of GAWD', '1001 Plans for Trapping Stupid Men in PITS' and 'What is the
Hitler myth? I certainly don't know, but I'll write you a poem on the
' We bring you
[To quote: But it's a very special episode! (other person, grumbling)
they're all very special episodes
And once again, only Em will know what I mean
[In honour of (re-reading) the first year of our
satire, I'm listening to a satire musical, that being the wonderful 'Once
more with feeling'. That, and I was bored with Andrew Lloyd Webber]
Traipsing through Ground situated Betwixt Upper and Lower Levels of Ground
(which for your information, is actually in Norway, not New Zealand as
one might expect), the Heroes earned several strange looks from the occasional
passer by. For it is not often you see a girl dragging an oversized sword,
a freakishly tall redhead with wings, a teenage boy with ears [on
his head!! No, that sounds just as obvious dammit. You all know what I
mean, a werewolf-ish looking guy.] and a tall young man, who
definitely bore no resemblance to Will Smith. Suddenly they felt the ground
rumble ominously and the landscape shivered with an aura of powerful magic.
"Waugh!" said Beansprout, losing her balance and grabbing onto
Yakky's arm for support. The flea-like leaping away from each other happened
again, and Flibbage and J rolled their eyes at the irony of it all.
"Flibbage, was that your doing?" snapped Beansprout, regaining
"No, but it is Cabbage's in a roundabout kind of way."
"Huh? How come?"
"Because Emily's writing it and she's bored in her art exam."[Ah
yes, this is the one where it's deconstructionist! *says Ally the post
grad student who is cheating by studying her own co-work, and who, incidentally,
doesn't exist*][Except now she does! More of IBYKS and it's magical pre-cog powers!]
"Who? Writing what? Where?"
"Never mind, it was just a narrative strand implanting itself."
"Not a Faery, wouldn't understand."
"I'll ask Red."
"Don't you dare!"
"What were we doing, anyway?" said Yakky, pretending that his
arm disgusted him. [You know what disgusts me?
The fact that I've just made it all gothic again when I could have much
more fun writing humorous procrastination]
"Why," said Beansprout [With appropriate
idiot pose and cry of 'Hark!'], "We are continuing our
quest to discover the nature and purpose of the Thing for the Opening
of Doors, Padlocks, Money Boxes, Filing Cabinets Etc. and therefore finding
the key [haha- a pun! -or, quite possibly, a
play on words] to the downfall of the evil NGSPIB.
"You are so full of shit, Beansprout Jones." muttered Yakky,
trying to sound cool. And failing, as he does.
"Yada-yada-ya, Myeh-myeh-myeh -HELLO?! It's COLD out here!"
yelled Flibbage, who of course was wearing a tiny dress.
"Well it's all your fault, so stop complaining!" said J.
"No it ISN'T!!! Oh, forget it. If I had my way we'd be on a beach
in Miami, not in the middle of some fjord somewhere!" [Hey,
did you add that in honour of Skywise (our Norwegian reader?) 'Cos if
you did that's really sweet!][No. I did it
because in the original edit, they were transported to Norway, from Tesco,
but it was a really shaky episode, so I changed it so that Floweron's
pizza service was already in Norway. I don't even know what a Fjord is.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, you meddling faery."
Its was at this point when things were descending into chaos, and Beansprout
was just thinking of something cutting to say, when the sword began to
hum faintly and glow blue.
"ooo," they all said quietly as Beansprout lifted it up.
"By the Power of Slayskull," said Beansprout confusedly, saying
the extra words that had sneaked into her head, "I have the power!"
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT, I DON'T KNOW.
NO REALLY I DON'T, I'M JUST SPOUTING DRIVEL TO FILL SOME TIME. HOPE IT
AMUSES YOU UNTIL NEXT TIME. TRALA. GOODBYE.