#12 "Misty water colour spirit realm, like the corners of my Faery
Realm." By Emily [Whaaat? I don't understaaand!!!]
[Like the song, doofus
now the further tales of the three surviving (in the loosest sense of
the word) members of the cast of InubuYAKasha
As you may know when Sprout hit fifteen, a newly gorgeous Yakky showed
up, then managed to get both of them blown up and killed himself in a
car crash. Annoyingly, he then returned as a ghost only visible to Beansprout.
Buffy made an entrance, only to blow up everyone else, leaving Flibbage
stranded in the spirit realm with Yakky and a vengeful Beansprout
all the donkey magic there is." Sighed Flibbage "This is gonna
be one case for the therapy couch." She turned away from the fuming
"My Gawd Yakky! You're alive!!" She yelled, attempting to hug
him, then falling through him and landing in a heap.
"Well that isn't technically true, Flib" Yakky pointed out,
trying to help her up in the best way two people with no solid form can.
"Wow!" said Flibbage, rubbing her head, "I've just had
"Umm... Lucky you?"
"An idea, idiot! A cunning plan! I can get us out of here! Well not
you because you're dead, but me and Sprout can get out- no offense."
"None taken. So Flib, what's the plan?"
"Can children still see ghosts?"
"Yeah, I think."
"And can we get to the Faery realm from here?"
"You'll see when I get there."
"Why not now?"
"That would ruin the plot for our readers." [Woooo!
First case of faerie media knowledge! *Ally breaks open the champagne*]
[Drinking? At this time in the day?
How very YOU my dear]
"Never mind, Come on Sprout! I have a plan!"
Beansprout looked up, her face as unreadable as before, but her eyes had
taken on a frightening gleam that seemed extremely worrying to Yakky and
"Right, because the sooner we get away from here the sooner I can
kill that bitch Buffy." She intoned, then smiled brightly. "Lead
the way Yakky!"
* * * * * * * * *
It was extremely unnerving to see the Faery realm in the same washed out
tones, because it was usually such a cheery place, filled with happy little
elves, cheerful butterflies and copious amounts of alcohol. Flibbage strode
up to her house, which by some fluke was human sized and a lot more grand
"Isn't your house usually very small?" Asked Yakky.
"We got fed up with shrinking all the guests, and being big is in-vogue
so we grew the house. Plus Cabbage keeps adding extensions." replied
the tall fairy, and strode calmly through the wall of her house. Yakky
and Beansprout followed her in, where she seemed to be yelling gibberish.[
Aha! So that's what happened to the house!]
"Bicamimiflagimoflimimbage? Bicamimiflagimoflimimbage? Where are
you?" I'd forgotten the length of that girl's name
you are a
"What's Bicaflimmy-whassit?" Asked Yakky curiously.
"My youngest sister. They wanted her to have an exotic name."
"But still on the strange mixture of syllables theme."
"Shut up, you!"
A small child wandered into the room sucking her thumb in a cliched
"Bica! Will you stop that at once!"
"Sorry" said the little girl, putting the offending thumb in
her pocket. "Why are you so pale?"
"Too long. Look will you just go tell Mum that I'm trapped in the
Spirit world, and I would like a hand please."
Bica raised an eyebrow and wandered out. Presently she returned with Cabbage
and Flynn [Poor Flynn, little does he know he's
going to be dumped for the Elf..][ That's whats
great about fiction, you can callously discard your made-up bloke with
little or no thought to his well being]
"And she's stuck in the spit world with a tall boy and a cross girl
said Bica dragging her mother by the hand.
"Now Flibbage" Said Flynn to the air in general, "what
did we tell you about keeping out of other people's astral planes? But
you didn't listen, and now look at the mess you've gotten your friends
Cabbage formed the sign of the cabbage flower in the air and a small window
appeared. She looked through it.
"There you are sweetheart! Hello Children! Oh dear Yakky, you seem
to be dead." she said brightly, waving.
"It wasn't me!" said Flibbage quickly. "It's all Buffy's fault!"
"Of course dearheart. Pay no attention to Flynn, he's an Ass. Literally,
"Buffy tried to blow Sprout up, but Yakky died, then she tried again
Any way, here we are in the spirit realm. Ahahaha."
"Dear me, the things these young people do." Said Flynn, "when
we were young, we just got drunk."
"Yes," said Cabbage wistfully "those were the days, the
"THIS IS NO TIME FOR NOSTALGIA!" yelled Flib reverting to the
all-familiar screech imbedded into everyone's consciousness.
"Oops. Got carried away there." Said Flynn, "An astral
portal ought to do it. But there's not much we can do about Yakky being
"I could see him anyway!" Piped up Beansprout.
"Bitch! Why didn't you haunt me too!" said Flibbage, "And
why didn't anyone TELL me this??" eh, they can only choose one person
to be seen by, watch Randall and Hopkirk, fairy
"I dunno," muttered Sprout malignantly.
By this time, Flynn and Cabbage had completed the secret Astral Portal
Spell, and with a shimmer of green sparks a doorway appeared.
"Shame you're dead really." Said Flib heading past Yakky to
"Dare I ask why?"
"Because really you're quite sexy in a human kind of way." She
attempted to kiss him on the cheek, but only succeeded in falling headlong
into the real world. Beansprout followed glumly.
"Sprout." Said Yakky.
"Just don't do anything stupid. Next time you're back here it could
be for good." Beansprout declined to answer, shoving her hands in
her pockets as she left. Flibbage, who had missed the last snatch of conversation
in the act of picking herself up and smoothing off her wings, put her
hands on her hips dramatically.
"Well that'll show ol' Rabbi Man he can't mess with us! We're like
the A-team, but cooler!"
Beansprout raised her eyebrows solemnly and was about to make another
famously cutting witticism when The Rabbi appeared looking thoroughly pissed off with the lot of them.
"Look! Look what you've done! Look at the mess you've made! YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!!! DECEASED!!! NO LONGER LIVING!!!"
"go away you sad little man." said Beansprout with an annoyed
"Yeah! Piss off!" said Flibbage, and scurried over and kicked
him in the shins.
"Kick his ass!" Said Yakky. But
he was only audible to Beansprout anyway.
"Ow,! Now I'm really mad!" Said the rabbi, "and I'm going
to clean up this mess which I should have done in the beginning!"
"Oh no!" cried Cabbage.
"Not the-" Flynn added.
"Yes!" Said the rabbi, and adopted his scary announcer voice,
"THE CELESTIAL VACCUUM CLEANER OF GAWD!"
Dum Dum DUM!!!
HOW WILL THEY ESCAPE THE SCARY RABBI?
HAS SPROUT LOST IT?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME IN