#55 "Some things we hate about clones"
well rip off my classy title why don't you
"Money money monaaay, must be funnaaay, in a rich man's world! Doodoodoodoodoo
(diddlediddle-nyerr) Doodoodoodoodoo(diddlediddel-nyerrr) It's a rich
man's world!-" Cabbage and Red sang for want of anything useful to
do, until they were interrupted by the wall falling in.
"Thank you Noisy Cricket," said Flibbage stepping over the rubble.
"MY WALL!!! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MY BEAUTIFUL WALL!" Cabbage
"Hurry!" said J, "We have to gather the Faeries and storm
"NOT MY CASTLE!!!"
"No J, we're going to lure the NGSPIB away and attack them."
Flibbage reminded him patiently.
"Oh yeah, how?"
"We're carrying away the captives. I.e Cabbage and Red."
"If you can carry me, you're stronger than you look," Red commented.
"Aha," said Flib, "that is why we've enlisted the help
of a Troglodyte!"
A huge troll-like thing looked through the hole in the wall and said "Burrr?"
"Stop scratching yourself and carry us to the Magic Mushroom Plateau."
TM Troglodyte obligingly picked them up.
"Magic mushrooms?" Red said with interest.
"Yeah, they sing."
"Oh. Well that's cool too."
* * *
At the Magic Mushroom Plateau all the creatures of Faerie (that hadn't
been captured by the NGSPIB) sat around and discussed Flibbage's summons.
"What do you reckon will happen?" Campfy said.
"We'll blatantly kick some NGSPIB ass!" Said Fletty "Euw
Flarry! don't point your feet at me!"
"Heheheh, the feet," said Flelen to herself.
"Hah, just wait 'till they face the wrath of my ninja hamsters!"
said Fjenny with a chuckle.
Flathryn just rolled her eyes.
Watching out around the edges of the magic circle were Cabbage's personal
entourage Flil, Flori, Florz, Phat and Fleckini. They and the other faeries
and magical creatures turned their eyes as thundering footsteps were heard
and the Troglodyte hove into view.
"Woo hoo! It's my faery God-sister Flibbage!"
"If I'm your faery God-sister, stop staring at my boobs Flarry."
"I'd marry you if we weren't related."
"I'm not related to you, you little perve!"
"Then let's get married!"
Flibbage flicked her wand and Flarry was transformed into a lettuce. "Okay
everyone," she said, standing on the Troglodytes head "listen
* * *
Beansprout and E-Yakky after much walking found the secret door that opened
into the corridor outside The Queen's bedroom
"Prepare to meet your doom Dad!" said Beansprout.
"That was pretty shite," E-Yakky said fairly.
"I know, I was going for the whole wit option, but I'm tired and
annoyed. Lets see- how about
DIE YOU WANKER!" Beansprout finished
with a yell and kicked the door down.
"Oh," she said, walking in. The room was deserted. Putting the sword down on the floor, she began rummaging around in Cabbage's
collection of Manga clothing, Ball gowns and charity shop junk accessories.
She froze as she heard the tell tale click of a gun having its safety
catch taken off.
"Sorry- honey," E-Yakky said pleasantly, and shot her in the
* * *
Everyone stared at Flibbage expectantly as she adopted a rallying-the-troops
pose and took on the passionate-speech voice. Even the mushrooms were
"Friends, Elves Nymphs, Imps, Pixies, Animals, Plants, Elementals,
Countrypersons!" She called out in a ringing tone.
"This'll be good," Campfy whispered to Fliz (who wasn't paying
attention and was instead, colouring a piece of stick).
"You're all dead!"
The faeries stared at her in confusion, then hysteria broke out as NGSPIB
agents swarmed down from the forest of mushrooms and surrounded them.
Two more dragged Red and Cabbage from the Troglodyte and held guns to
"Flibbage, how could you???" Cabbage screamed. E-Flib and E-J
slapped each other a high five as Barry appeared dramatically out of the
"Yay! Yay! Now I have all the faeries!!!" he cried, jumping
up and down.
"Achieving what, you sad little man?" snarled Red.
"Oh wouldn't you like to know?"
"Yes I would actually."
"Well I'm not telling Bwahahahahahahahaha!"
*Pan out, Pan out, Pan out. Cut to Graphic.* [How
much do I love saying that?]
TO BE CONTINUED