#59 "Sprout's Masked Replica"
in a tastefully decorated living room in Campfy's Tower of Doom
[Just checking to see if they're there
yep, I got that much right
doesn't mean you aren't a country Bumpkin].
"So glad you could drop by," Campfy purred, crossing and uncrossing
her legs in a manner that made Barry feel quite flustered.
"Um yeah um well you're looking great, I love your dress it's really
figure hugging NOT THAT I WAS LOOKING!" Oh God I'm making such an
idiot of myself, Barry thought and drank all his wine at once.
"AHA! SUCCESS!!!" MWUHAHAHAHA! Good Lord how much farther was
I going to have to go?!" Campfy said, and rearranged her hair.
"Wow, you sound so sexy when you- urk!" Barry croaked and flopped
forwards onto the table.
"Strike 1!!!" Campfy crowed and began singing Another One Bites
"-shout," Barry said sitting back up.
"-I'm gonna get you- huh?"
The provocatively grinning Barry, suddenly turned into a flamingo.
"A Flamingo? He's supposed to be dead!"[Ah,
let us shamelessly rip things off, just like the olden days,]
"How strange, pink freak," Agent O commented as she stepped
out from behind the curtains. "Shall I kill him, Fred?"
"Go on then," Campfy huffed, and stalked out.
"Come on pink freak
" O said, beckoning to
Barry as she drew a carving knife from somewhere about her person.
"Kwark!" said Barry in distress and ran away as fast as his
long pink legs could carry him.
* * * *
"Hah!" Gloated E-Flib, "You're so screwed!" The clones
took aim with their huge guns.
"Now what do we do?" whispered J to Beansprout.
"Run Awaaaaay!" squeaked Flibbage and hid behind a fern.
"You are going back in that box dead !" Beansprout hissed.
The clones pulled the triggers and a cascade of flowers covered the non-clones.
"Okaaay," said Yakky
"Hmm," Flibbage said thoughtfully.
"Folk!" said the clones, looking very puzzled.
"Wait here whilst we get better guns," said E-Flib with a fiendish
wink and the clones sprinted off.
"What in the name of Folk is going on today?" Beansprout said.
"I think-" Flibbage began as a flamingo ran up to them.
"Sprout! Help me!!!" yelled the flamingo.
"AAA! Demon flamingo!" Shreiked Beansprout, and kicked it.
"Owww! Talk about meeean!"
Everyone stared at the flamingo.
"Dad?" said Beansprout, squinting.
no," said the flamingo, looking shifty.
"DIE!" Beansprout yelled and for want of anything more effective,
tried to sit on him.
"Aaa!" said Barry, running away behind the fern. "Stop
being so horrible! Even Oddball is trying to kill me!"
"I knew it!" said Flibbage, and turning him into a small Brussel
sprout, flew up from behind the fern.
"Don't think you're out of trouble, elf!" said Beansprout, swatting
at the faery, who flew up out of reach.
"I know what's going on!" she yelled desperately.
"What?" asked J, who deserved some dialogue.
"Well all this weird stuff! The flowers, Barry being a flamingo,
Oddball trying to kill him- its all because Barry has control of the narrative,
but can't get anything right!"
"Good point, okay I won't kill you just yet," mused Beansprout
and struck a dramatic pose, "Let's get our plot back!"
"Well we actually never had it but that's beside the point
"But I don't HAVE IT ANYMORE!!!" Barry squeaked.
"Oh shut up." Beansprout said and threw him into a bush.
"He's probably right," Flibbage said.
"Who has got the plot then?" Yakky asked.
"Oh crap," Beansprout said suddenly.
"Folk it! Folk my impulse magicking!"
The two men glanced at each other in confusion.
"For Folk's sake!" Beansprout yelled at her male companions,
"It's Buffy, you idiots! Buffy! Buffy has the plot!"
THEY LOST THE PLOT? (PUN!)
HOW WILL THEY RESCUE THEIR BELOVED NARRATIVE GENTLE READER?
WHAT FIENDISH PLAN IS BUFFY PLANNING ?
WILL EMILY AND ALICE EVER HAVE A POSITIVE COMMENT TO MAKE ABOUT MALE INTELLECT?
WELL YOU'LL FIND OUT NEXT EPISODE WONT YOU