Volume 1: a Foolish Faerietale
Episode #57 "The Shoe Towers"
By Ally

[You know, with all the references to a person who has three personalities, one good, one evil and one normal which is a blatant rip off of Detta /Odetta /Susannah from Stephen King's Gunslinger books, you could have just called it 'The Dark Tower', but I don't think anyone has read those books except me…]


"There," said J, tying a bandage "Just try not to get into any fights for a while… which is about the most useless advice I ever gave anyone…"
"Sprout's not going to die!" Yelled Yakky with glee and hugged her.
"OwowOWOWOW!!!" Beansprout screamed in agony.
"Sorry."
"Okay," said Beansprout, standing up in a wobbly manner and holding onto Yakky for support owing to her huge blood loss (She may be a hero, but no one heals that fast) "If anyone mentions how embarrassing I acted when I was dying, there won't be enough of you left to bury."
"Okay Sprout."
"Sprout's alive! Sprout's alive!" Yakky sang merrily causing our heroine to blush and grin a little bit.
"Okay," said J, spotting another pointless romantic moment approaching "let's go sort out this big mess, or something."
"And you wonder why you're just the side kick," Beansprout answered picking up her sword. "Let's hunt some clones!"
"Didn't I just tell you to take it easy?"
"Shut up you old woman!"
"Sprout's alive!"
"That's enough now Yakky."
* * *

"Now do you feel evil?" Flibbage said exasperatedly walking into the clearing where they were hiding.
"Not really, more… well… slutty." Campfy said tugging at the hem of her elegant but short black dress, which combined with black gloves, fishnet tights and thigh-length boots, made her look like an evil genius… or a downtown hooker.
"Watch It! These are my clothes you know!"
"You're not evil."
"Oh give me time…" growled Flibbage to herself, and pondered what else Buffy had to make her more evil.
"Gods of evil,
Shift your buns!
Bring me Lackeys, Yaks and Guns!"

There was a thunderclap (The sound of evil making magic) and Campfy was suddenly surrounded by Yak-riding vampires who bristled with heavy artillery.
"What about now?"
Campfy put a hand to her forehead, wearing a strange half-scowl. "I'm… kind of nasty," she admitted haltingly.
Flibbage clapped her hands. "Yay! What else do you need?"
"I think… maybe… a lair?"
"Evil spirits,
Flaunt your power.
Build me here a looming tower!"

There was a particularly impressive thunderclap, and when the blinding effect of the lightening had passed, a tall black tower was standing in the near background.
"I'm great, said Flibbage smugly. "Evil yet Campfy?... Campfy?"
Campfy sat up clutching her head. "Fucking hell…" she muttered.
"Okay that's about as evil as it gets I guess," said Flibbage, "Now let's go and find Barry and kick his ass, because there's only room for one evil overlord around here and you'll blatantly win because you're a girl and this is faerie. Then we'll make you normal again and everyone's happy."
Campfy stared at her, then began to chuckle.
"See, I told you so, you can even do the laugh…uh…at me…" Flibbage tailed off.
Campfy clicked her fingers and with a shower of black sparks and an ominous thunderclap was suddenly dress in black leather trousers, stylish ankle boots, a strappy top of the kind often worn by Buffy and a long black leather coat, complete with her butterfly wings which had turned black, she was a scary sight.
"So tell me Flibbage, did you do any forward thinking when you formulated this particular plan?" Campfy purred.
"I was considering a best-case scenario…" Flibbage mumbled.
"Which was?"
"Not the way it's turned out. Sodding plot twists."
"As it is," said Campfy crisply, clapping her hands for her henchmen, "I'm going to form a temporary alliance with Barry, destroy you meddling kids forever, then dispose of him in vicious spree of backstabbing, probably over dinner, I could wear my red dress…" She mused.
"Meanwhile I'll just be going," Flibbage squeaked, reverting to tiny form for a quick getaway.
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that," Campfy said and clicked her fingers.
Flibbage's language at finding herself locked in a stylishly enamelled jewellery box was bad enough to shock even Beansprout.
"Back back, sweetheart…" said Campfy as she stored the box in one of the henchmen's saddle bags, then she smiled. "Okay boys, we have work to do…"
* * *
"What the Folk?!" Beansprout exclaimed as they passed a window and saw the tower.
"Bloody hell, those faeries can build fast," Yakky commented.
"Let's go and kill Barry horribly then," said J.
"You really should leave dramatic one-liners to me J, you suck. Besides," Beansprout added, "We have to find Flibbage first, we can't go face the bad guys with just the three of us, unless she's off somewhere holding back the guards or dying in noble self sacrifice-"
"She'd better not be!"
"And there's still those Folking clones sneaking about the place, so it'd be an anti-climax if we didn't get them first." Beansprout added.
"How come I never understand this convention stuff?" Complained Yakky.
"Because I pay attention even if I don't understand, and you are more interested in gadgets, beer and women in revealing outfits."
"Well I'm interested in you and you're wearing dungarees."
"You'd better be, or I'll kick your werewolf ass."
"Fair enough then."
"When you're all quite finished?" said an icy voice. Our three waffling heroes turned to see E-Yakky and E-Sprout standing at the top of a flight of stairs, holding guns the likes of which only J had seen before.
"Wow! You have a Compensator Mark 6! And a Technojunkie 22!"[But not the gun that does everything from the fifth element, so they're doomed]
"You are SO sad." Yakky told him.
"Compensator?" remarked Beansprout, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, you know what they say about men with big guns…" [*…what, they're evil clones?*…]
"I'm not compensating for anything!" Shouted E-Yakky angrily.
"Yeah, yeah…" Said both Sprouts.
"Hey!" said both the Yakkys.
"Oh God, kill me," said J (in mono).
"Gladly," said E-Sprout, and fired a big nasty rocket-thing in his direction.
"Yeah subtle!" snarled Beansprout swinging the Sword of Slayskull like a baseball bat. There was a large explosion and Beansprout was thrown across the room.
"Sprout! Don't be dead! J told you not to do that!!!" Yakky shouted, running over to her.
"Stop fussing you moron, I'm fine." Said Beansprout, sitting up. "Ow, the shoulder. You are so dead you pigtailed bitch!" she yelled at her clone.
"Uh-huh," E-Sprout said sceptically. E-Yakky chuckled.
"Uh… Sprout?" said J.
"Oh my God," said Yakky.
Beansprout looked down at the Sword of Slayskull. Most of it was in pieces on the floor, she was only holding the hilt.
"FOLKING SHODDY PIECE OF LEGENDARY MANUFACTURING!!!" she yelled.
"Die now," said E-Sprout calmly aiming the Technojunkie 22 at her.
There was another explosion and bits of E-Sprout were suddenly sticking to the walls. There was a small pause.
"Thank you noisy cricket," said J.
"Thank you J," said Beansprout in a small shocked voice.
"E-Sprout! NOOO!!!" Yelled E-Yakky, who had just realized he was madly in love with her.
"I'll take care of him," J said smugly, and pulled the trigger. He tried again. And again.
"Oh shit," he said.

[*Sings* That's what you get when the Evil Guy controls the plot conventions!!! Write them out of that one, Faerie Queen…]
[Alice I know you can't help the fact that you're just a simple Country Bumpkin, BUT E-YAKKY TOOK THE SWORD AWAY FROM SPROUT AFTER HE SHOT HER! Now I've had to go back and change everything to make up for your lack of attention to detail *sigh* For those of you who will read up till series eight, this is an early example of an INCONSISTENCY]

Episode#1 "The Tale Begins."
Episode#2 "Enter the Token Bloke."
Episode#3 "Stop Silicon Valley, I want to Get Off!."
Episode#4 "Faery Frolics and Fun with a Prophecy."
Episode#5 "The Loco Journeys."
Episode#6 "Cablim gets a Nasty Surprise."
Episode#7 "Beandiana Jones and the Temple of Choom."
Episode#8 "Oddball's Odd Behaviour."
Volume 2: Til Death do us Part
Episode#9 "Happy Birthday, Sweet Fifteen."
Episode#10 "The Sprout Sense."
Episode#11 "Four Funerals and another Funeral.
Episode#12 "Misty Water Colour Spirit Realm...."
Episode#13 "Interview with a Vampire Slayer."
Episode#14 "Ra-Ra-Rasputin!"
Volume 3: Space Opera
Episode#15 "Now the Thugs don't Work..."
Episode#16 "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."
Episode#17 "Lardraptors!"
Episode#18 "Go Folk Yo' Mama!"
Episode#19 "The Platetrix."
Episode#20 "In Space no one can Hear you Order Pizza."
Episode#21 "Deepwater Yak."
Episode#22 "Yak trek."
Episode#23 "Planet of the crepes."
Episode#24 "Dude Where's my Comedy Plot Conventions?."
Volume 4: Unconventional
Episode#25 "A Clockwork Beansprout."
Episode#26 "The Long Awaited Explaination."
Episode#27 "Ten things I hate about 'funny' cartoon crossovers."
Episode#28 "The Plan."
Volume 5: Happy Endings
Episode#29 "We're off to See a Werewolf..."
Episode#30 "The Yak and the Beansprout."
Episode#31 "The fellowship of the Thing."
Episode#32 "The one Where the Cast of Friends do Nothing and the Cast of IBYKS do little more."
Episode#33 "Meet your Yak."
Episode#34 "The Laughing Yak."
Episode#35 "Lord of the Thing(s)."
Episode#36 "Extra Extra Special with Magic, Cheese and Tesco."
Episode#37 "Faeries and Werewolves and Yaks, oh My!."
Episode#38 "IBYKS The animated feature film."
Episode#39 "The return of the Parents of the Children."
Episode#40 "Events Concluding Those which Preceeded."
Episode#41 "The Chips of WRATH!."
Episode#42 "In which Cabbage has Angst."
Episode#43 "Heaven is a Shoeshop."
Episode#44 "The Importance of being Soulless."
Episode#45 "Vinyl fantasy."
Volume 6: Killing Time
Episode#46 "Where is My Happy Ending...?"
Episode#47 "The Books of Faerie."
Episode#48 "Back to the Future from the Past..."
Episode#49 "The Time and Space of the Old Dude with the 'tache."
Episode#50 "Sprout, Flib, Yakky & J's Excellent Adventure."
Episode#51 "The Nerds The Nerds!"
Episode#52 "The Land of Reality."
Episode#53 "Ordinary (boring) World."
Episode#54 "Smoke and Mirrors."
Episode#55 "Some things we hate about Clones."
Episode#56 "I've got no Idea what you did Last Summer..."
Episode#57 "The Shoe Towers."
Episode#58 "Pizza is a dish best Served Cold."
Episode#59 "Sprout's Masked Replica."
Episode#60 "Curiouser and Curiouser..."
Episode#61 "Not another Season Finale?."
Volume 7: Intertextuality
pisode#62 "Faerietale."
Episode#63 "When Narrative Functions Turn Bad..."
Episode#64 "Jack, the Beanstalk, The Beauty, The Beast, The Witch, The Wardrobe and Will."
Episode#65 "Its a Good Li(f)e."
Episode#66 "The one with Four Titles..."
Episode#67 "The B Team."
Episode#68 "Narnia Has Nothing on this..."
Episode#69 "Clash of the Heroines."
Episode#70 "To Infinity and Beyond."
Episode#71 "The Thingwraith."
Episode#72 "Ghostmom."
Episode#73 "And all that Black Widow Crap Jazz."
Episode#74 "I've got a theory..."
Episode#75 "Magical Girl- Pretty Scary."
Episode#76 "Wheels within Wheels within Wheels- ARGH!"
Episode#77 "J's Story."
Episode#78 "Irrevocably Broken."
Volume 8: Loose Ends
Episode#79 "Lots of things Begin With Dee."
Episode#80 "Adventures in Slumberland."
Episode#81 "The One with the Revelation."
Episode#82 "Artificial Life Sucks.com."
Episode#83 "Saving Beansprout's Brain."
Episode#84 "The Road is Folking Hard..."
Episode#85 "The One with Gender Issues."
Episode#86 "Disneyland."
Episode#87 "(DEMON)Llama Llama Llama..."
Episode#88 "Perspective."
Episode#89 "Me, Myself and Ai."
Episode#90 "Wedding Cake or Death."
Episode#91 "Real Life.or Pizza, With Extra Cheese."
Extras
Episode#92 "Prologue in Manga Form."
Episode#93 "Curtain Opens."
Episode#94 "Trailer for series six."
Episode#95 "A nepalese Werewolf in London."(Flashback story, prelude to series eight)
Episode#96 "Fantasy Life Sucks."
Episode#97 "Credits Roll."
Episode#98 "IBYKS Companion (Part 1)."
Episode#99 "IBYKS Companion (Part 2)."
Episode#100 "IBYKS Companion (Part 3)."