know your own inconsistency for this week? The plural of octopus is
octopi - ha! Outsmarted again, eh?][Hmm
day we will need to go through the definitions of 'inconsistency' and
^_^][Perhaps we could also discuss the diference
between 'knowledgable student' and 'Blake Fangirl']
know whats weird?- I don't feel so mad any more. I've lost the urge
to kill people," Beansprout said, staring upwards.
"Falling to certain death can have that effect on a person, I'm
sure," WILL replied.
"I've ruined everything. My family, my friends -all terrified of
me. I'll never be able to see them again, and I don't even know why
I did it - I just couldn't control anything." [Like
the Incredible Hulk?]
"I think you underestimate them. I-" WILL paused as if listening
to something Beansprout couldn't hear.
"I have to leave now, they've realised who I am," he said,
and abruptly disappeared. Beansprout stared confusedly into the darkness.
"Underestimate them?" she whispered to herself, sitting up
carefully. She took a charred stickfrom the fire. "I took them
for granted, I hurt them, and now he says I underestimate them
Still, she thought as she sketchily drew runes on the floor. It's not
as if I have anywhere else to go
had excused himself after Flibbage had brought out her Apple[gosh
didn't you know that Microsoft's only competitor was developed by faeries?
Thats why its pretty] laptop and it had been discovered that
Faerynet and the Internet [or, as my wonderful
customers call it, the Interweb
] were in a similar
state of disarray. She had then launched into some tirade about how
difficult it was to get magic digitised, and Dee had made some comment,
and another icy word duel had begun.
He made his way outside to the palace grounds and found a soap tree
- with a handy branch to sit on, obviously. Some things never changed.
Six months of his life had gone in snatches of dreams and blank spaces,
he thought as he sat in the tree. For a moment when he'd woken up and
saw Dee making some bloody noise with a whistle he thought he'd dreamed
everything. Everything from the moment he'd walked out on the three
of them in Buffy Towers. Somehow that would have been less painful.
But then Dee had directed him back to the throne room and he'd seen
just how much had changed in his absence. J and Flibbage weren't sidekicks
any more, they were in positions of responsibility - you could see it
in their faces. (Debatable in J's case) He guessed they didn't have
anyone to be a sidekick to any more. Neither did he.
Maybe he shouldn't stay here any longer. Being in Faerie reminded him
of Sprout, and that just made life so much worse. Maybe his part in
this story, if that's what it was, was over. Maybe he should go with
Dee, learn how to be a werewolf seeing as the whole humanity thing hadn't
worked...[Yakky really, really needs Sprout,
mainly to give him a kick up the arse every time he starts getting like
His morose train of thought was interrupted by a strange flickering
circle that had appeared in the middle of the lawn. Leaves and pieces
of debris around it were caught and flung into the air in little spirals.
Just a spell, he thought. Must be one of the high clearance elves teleporting
Then he realised all the important elves were already in the palace.
The figure in the centre of the circle began to take shape. It was a
girl, average height, thin
with dark hair
Yakky fell out of the tree, prepared to yell out some kind of warning
to those in the palace and then run screaming for his life. Slowly,
Beansprout turned to look at him.
Then her eyes rolled up in her head, her knees seemed to give way beneath
her and she fell over.
Yakky fought the urge to run over. It's a trick, he thought. If I go
over there I'll be dead before I know it.
Ten minutes later, he was beginning to doubt his resolve. Warily, he
walked over to where she lay, keeping safely out of arm's reach. She
was face down in the grass. He couldn't see her expression.
"I could still get you from there."
Yakky didn't move.
Beansprout continued hesitantly "I don't expect you to say anything,
I just wanted to tell you - there's something wrong with me, I don't
know how to fix it. but for the moment it's... not me...and
wanted to say I'm sorry, while I can."
"Can you even get up?" Yakky said quietly.
"Here," He stepped towards her and, with some difficulty,
picked her up. Slowly he walked back towards the castle.
can we find the AI? How do we kill it? Where are the Big Pricks? Come
on! I need answers people!" Flibbage paced up and down. "Maybe
I could go back to D'Arcie's pocket reality and..."
"Don't you mean delegate a search party?" interrupted Red.
"Well, you can't just run around Intertextuality any more. You're
Queen, you have responsibilities here. Why don't you send Flee!-Bee's
"Because only Flee!-Bee, Petrobrad and the Twiz are left!"
somebody else, then."
"Someone must do it, someone you see - argh goddammit blasted
"I guess she's right," said J to Flibbage. "I mean, you're
Queen now, and I have to run NGSPIB, and Yakky will need time to recover,
"-IS ON THE FRIKKIN' LAWN!" screamed Flil, who had happened
to glance out of the window.
"DUCK AND COVER, DUCK AND COVER!" yelled Flathryn.
"I think Yakky is her hostage!" Flil continued, peeking over
the windowsill. "No
he picked her up?"
"What the folk?" said Flibbage, running over. "C'mon,"
she said to J, and, grabbing his arm, teleported them outside.
going on?" she asked Yakky as she and J reappeared.
"She's hurt, she needs our help," Yakky replied, putting Beansprout
down. As Flibbage knelt on the lawn to survey the situation, J looked
back towards the palace where fifty or so worried faces were staring
at them, almost certainly thinking 'But we only just got a new Queen
"I don't think she's in any danger. She's got some serious wounds,
but they're healing," said Flibbage. "Did she say anything
"She said she's sorry and she couldn'tt help it."
The three of them stood in silence around Beansprout.
Slowly, she opened one eye.
"Yeah - I'm Queen now - people - well, died."
Beansprout's face froze. "Oh God, I didn't-"
"No, you had nothing to do with it, it was Oddball. Besides, most
of them came back - well, apart from Flori and Phat. And Cabbage is
a small cat."
"Reincarnation." [Mine's a Beamish
Red!][It would be funny if you drank it]
More uncomfortable silence.
sat on a chair in the throne room, while most of the faeries stood as
close to the walls as possible.
"This person who helped you, you say he looked like J?" Red
asked, tapping away on her laptop as Cabbage tried her best to walk
all over the keys [as cats do].
"Yes," Beansprout said quietly, without looking at anyone.
"It must be the A.I!" said Red. "Remember how the other
looked like Yakky?"
"Oh, fantastic - now I'm the Big Bad," said J. "Just
"Should you really keep using that laptop if we're dealing with
rogue A.I?" asked Dee. [If
you read this while thinking 'AI' as in 'Amnesty International' it does
funny things to your head
"Who are you?" said Beansprout, noticing her for the first
"Oh - um - this is Dee," said Yakky. "She's another werewolf."
"Oh," said Beansprout, returning her gaze firmly to the floor,
much to Yakky's dismay.
"No! No! It isn't anything like that-"
"No, I understand that no-one really wants me around here, I only
came back because the 'crazy' AI told me to
"No, honestly, I do want you around, I-"
"Oh dear Lord," said Flibbage to herself "it's all back
to square one
we seriously have to get these guys back on the road
number of characters is too overwhelming, let's get them out of Faerie.
Oh, I cannot write in a sensible manner. I should plan my episodes more
all just so much unconnected nonsense.]