Volume 1: a Foolish Faerietale

Episode #75 "Magical Girl- Pretty Scary."By Ally


[you found a use for some of the endless bit parts! That's very tidy of you]
In the Faerie council cavern [when are they going to sort the Realm out?][-making a new one remember, it's just full of psycho at the mo.] the important characters once again sat and discussed their options.
"What worries me," said J, feeling important because he was being listened to "is that we'll never find a way to separate Beansprout's good and evil sides."
"Oh I'm glad you raised that point J, because it hadn't occurred to anyone else." Flibbage snapped. J looked deflated [not literally][weird image indeed], Cabbage toyed with a ball of string.
"Anyone else got any ideas? Flathryn?" Flib continued.
Flathryn shook her head.
"I do!" said Red.
"Dear God… Mother don't giggle like that! Okay Red, what is it?"
"Well you said it was Sprout being a Half-Nymph, that was really Folking her up? With the constant struggle between good and evil and all that?"
"*Sigh*… and?"
"Its simple then. Do some magic. Make her one thing or the other."
"Oh, yeah, simple." Muttered Bica scathingly (she hadn't done well on her ASS Levels).
"Actually, that could work…" mused Flibbage.
"Yay!"
"But we haven't got anything like the quantities of magic we'd need, thanks to the realification of the realm."
"Oh…"
"Hang on…I know where we can get magic," said Cabbage, looking up from her tangled pile of wool. "Fleckini! You're Jenenchilada's good half. How are you at theft?"
* * *
"Sprout?"
"Yes *snort* your majesty?"
"Shut up!"
Beansprout went silent, in that very pointed irritating way.
"Folk… I didn't mean it. Stop it."
"…"
"Anyway, how did you know your dad is a circus elf far enough in advance to hide a knife but sound surprised about it when we kidnapped you?"
"I was acting, moron. So was D'Arcie. The first thing you learn about being a Darker girl is how to look stupid. That and the nose grab thing." Beansprout pulled a lipstick out of her ear (sleight of hand), and began to touch up her makeup.
"How does D'Arcie know?"
"Oddball told her."
"How did Oddball know?"
"Red told her."
"With all due respect to Red, how does she even know?"
Beansprout glared icily at him and turned her back. This wasn't because she was offended, but so, without him seeing, she could draw runes on the floor with the lipstick.
* * *
The cast of Inu Yasha stood in the bloody mess (as in mess of blood, not my room, or yours for that matter). All were rather amazed.
"Well that's that then," said Kagome.
"Who'd have thought that would kill Naraku?"
"Who'd have thought?"
"And the Shikon-no-Tama is complete again." [I can't decide who's talking, nor do I really care][Ah, feel the love she puts into the episode]
"Is it me, or is this just a really disappointing anti-climax?"
"It's not just you."
"Oh well," said Kagome, with forced cheerfulness, "We can still decide whether Inu-Yasha going to turn human or demon."
"What do you mean 'we', wench!?"
(Silence, or in this world 'Hyooooooo')
"Shall we toss a coin?"
"Okay."
At which point Fleckini appeared, grabbed the Shikon-no-Tama with a triumphant cry of 'Yoink!', and disappeared again.
"Bugger," said Inu-Yasha. [Which in some twisted way reminds me of The magic Roundabout][twisted is right][You know, this is so how Inu-Yasha will end][Maybe they'll all die. No wait, Yasha has already told me the ending and ruined it all]
* * *
Meanwhile in Pocket-world, [what a cool name, Ally!]
"Oh Crap!" shouted Yakky, as the floor of Beansprout's cage dissolved into a second-rate, amateurishly fuzzy portal, which no elf would be proud of, and she jumped through, with a triumphant cackle, leaving nothing but the lipstick Runes behind.
Seconds later Flib appeared, waving the Shikon-no-Tama.
"Great news Yakky! We can use this to turn Beansprout human, then you and me can get divorced!"
"Well hopefully that will cancel out the bad news…"
Flibbage noticed the empty cage. "AAARGH! I can't leave you alone with anything!"
"She tricked me! Again…"
"Well, I guess you can't be held responsible, she is the protagonist in a bitter man-hating storyline."
"Whuh?"
*Sigh* "Nothing," Flib went over to inspect the Runes, "Now what sort of charm did they find that could out do my spel- oh no."
"What?"
"Who could have taught her something like that?? Only high elves know about how to… Oh, this isn't going to be pretty."
* * *
"The magical Adepts of the Realm (and Yakky and J) were soon gathered round the magic circle.
"From Outside of you it Devours?" Flathryn read, puzzled.
"Hmph," said Cabbage prodding a rune with one paw, "for a Word Imp, you are woefully misinformed in Ancient Thespian Runes. That sign also means "Creates" or "Tickles"".
"From outside of you it tickles???"
"Try 'creates'." Said Flibbage crossly. "It's the 'outside' bit we need to worry about."
Yakky and J glanced at each other in mutual confusion.
Flibbage sighed. "Okay, I'll explain it to you. But it goes no further than this room. We're getting into the central belief system of Faerie here, stuff mortals aren't supposed to know so that we can appear mysterious and aloof. Its more of a myth really. Faerie science, all the Seven Fey Concepts, Mise-en-Scene, Ideology, Generics, Representation, Audience, Institution and Narrative -well they all depend on there being someone making those rules, someone outside the story."
"Oh, like the time we met those girls in that world when-"
"No, they were a Representation, part of the Inside. This is all theory, Faerie philosophy, but they say that everything on the Inside reflects events Outside, so there's something, or things, outside, writing down the plot of everything."
"Funny, Faeries never struck me as religious." Said J.
"This isn't a religion J! Its science, and its how the world really works!" Yelled Flibbage, "You believe in atoms, even though you can't see them, don't you!? Beansprout's spell proves it! She's gone Outside, and I have no idea how to follow her!"
"Hey," said Yakky, maybe she did it so she can re-make everything in favour of the Big-"
"Oh, you think!??" Flibbage shrieked.
"Calm down Stupid!" Yelled Cabbage, and swatted her round the ankles.
"I need a Pavlova…" Flibbage mumbled.
"So what is outside?" asked J.
"Well," said Cabbage, "No one has ever dared go before, but some believe in the Muses, and others in the Fates, some believe its just a big formless energy. Personally I think its an art shop."
"Shut up Mother."
Cabbage hissed at Flibbage and stalked away.
"How can we get her back?" Yakky.asked.
Flibbage sat down next to the runes with her head in her hands. "If I knew that Yakky, I'd do it."
* * *
[And that's what happens when you write a clever theory. I dig big pit and stand in it, admiring the view. I have no idea why I wrote that.][Oh I know where I'm going with this… hehe]



Episode#1 "The Tale Begins."
Episode#2 "Enter the Token Bloke."
Episode#3 "Stop Silicon Valley, I want to Get Off!."
Episode#4 "Faery Frolics and Fun with a Prophecy."
Episode#5 "The Loco Journeys."
Episode#6 "Cablim gets a Nasty Surprise."
Episode#7 "Beandiana Jones and the Temple of Choom."
Episode#8 "Oddball's Odd Behaviour."
Volume 2: Til Death do us Part
Episode#9 "Happy Birthday, Sweet Fifteen."
Episode#10 "The Sprout Sense."
Episode#11 "Four Funerals and another Funeral.
Episode#12 "Misty Water Colour Spirit Realm...."
Episode#13 "Interview with a Vampire Slayer."
Episode#14 "Ra-Ra-Rasputin!"
Volume 3: Space Opera
Episode#15 "Now the Thugs don't Work..."
Episode#16 "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."
Episode#17 "Lardraptors!"
Episode#18 "Go Folk Yo' Mama!"
Episode#19 "The Platetrix."
Episode#20 "In Space no one can Hear you Order Pizza."
Episode#21 "Deepwater Yak."
Episode#22 "Yak trek."
Episode#23 "Planet of the crepes."
Episode#24 "Dude Where's my Comedy Plot Conventions?."
Volume 4: Unconventional
Episode#25 "A Clockwork Beansprout."
Episode#26 "The Long Awaited Explaination."
Episode#27 "Ten things I hate about 'funny' cartoon crossovers."
Episode#28 "The Plan."
Volume 5: Happy Endings
Episode#29 "We're off to See a Werewolf..."
Episode#30 "The Yak and the Beansprout."
Episode#31 "The fellowship of the Thing."
Episode#32 "The one Where the Cast of Friends do Nothing and the Cast of IBYKS do little more."
Episode#33 "Meet your Yak."
Episode#34 "The Laughing Yak."
Episode#35 "Lord of the Thing(s)."
Episode#36 "Extra Extra Special with Magic, Cheese and Tesco."
Episode#37 "Faeries and Werewolves and Yaks, oh My!."
Episode#38 "IBYKS The animated feature film."
Episode#39 "The return of the Parents of the Children."
Episode#40 "Events Concluding Those which Preceeded."
Episode#41 "The Chips of WRATH!."
Episode#42 "In which Cabbage has Angst."
Episode#43 "Heaven is a Shoeshop."
Episode#44 "The Importance of being Soulless."
Episode#45 "Vinyl fantasy."
Volume 6: Killing Time
Episode#46 "Where is My Happy Ending...?"
Episode#47 "The Books of Faerie."
Episode#48 "Back to the Future from the Past..."
Episode#49 "The Time and Space of the Old Dude with the 'tache."
Episode#50 "Sprout, Flib, Yakky & J's Excellent Adventure."
Episode#51 "The Nerds The Nerds!"
Episode#52 "The Land of Reality."
Episode#53 "Ordinary (boring) World."
Episode#54 "Smoke and Mirrors."
Episode#55 "Some things we hate about Clones."
Episode#56 "I've got no Idea what you did Last Summer..."
Episode#57 "The Shoe Towers."
Episode#58 "Pizza is a dish best Served Cold."
Episode#59 "Sprout's Masked Replica."
Episode#60 "Curiouser and Curiouser..."
Episode#61 "Not another Season Finale?."
Volume 7: Intertextuality
pisode#62 "Faerietale."
Episode#63 "When Narrative Functions Turn Bad..."
Episode#64 "Jack, the Beanstalk, The Beauty, The Beast, The Witch, The Wardrobe and Will."
Episode#65 "Its a Good Li(f)e."
Episode#66 "The one with Four Titles..."
Episode#67 "The B Team."
Episode#68 "Narnia Has Nothing on this..."
Episode#69 "Clash of the Heroines."
Episode#70 "To Infinity and Beyond."
Episode#71 "The Thingwraith."
Episode#72 "Ghostmom."
Episode#73 "And all that Black Widow Crap Jazz."
Episode#74 "I've got a theory..."
Episode#75 "Magical Girl- Pretty Scary."
Episode#76 "Wheels within Wheels within Wheels- ARGH!"
Episode#77 "J's Story."
Episode#78 "Irrevocably Broken."
Volume 8: Loose Ends
Episode#79 "Lots of things Begin With Dee."
Episode#80 "Adventures in Slumberland."
Episode#81 "The One with the Revelation."
Episode#82 "Artificial Life Sucks.com."
Episode#83 "Saving Beansprout's Brain."
Episode#84 "The Road is Folking Hard..."
Episode#85 "The One with Gender Issues."
Episode#86 "Disneyland."
Episode#87 "(DEMON)Llama Llama Llama..."
Episode#88 "Perspective."
Episode#89 "Me, Myself and Ai."
Episode#90 "Wedding Cake or Death."
Episode#91 "Real Life.or Pizza, With Extra Cheese."
Extras
Episode#92 "Prologue in Manga Form."
Episode#93 "Curtain Opens."
Episode#94 "Trailer for series six."
Episode#95 "A nepalese Werewolf in London."(Flashback story, prelude to series eight)
Episode#96 "Fantasy Life Sucks."
Episode#97 "Credits Roll."
Episode#98 "IBYKS Companion (Part 1)."
Episode#99 "IBYKS Companion (Part 2)."
Episode#100 "IBYKS Companion (Part 3)."