Volume 1: a Foolish Faerietale

INUBUYAKASHA Volume #2“Till Death Do Us Part.”

 The return of the worlds greatest heroine, her supernatural sidekick, token male friend and zany family tree, from combined pens of Ally and Em. Enjoy, this story has more of a point!

 Prologue; By Ally

(Teen girl Voiceover) Not so long ago- okay, a decade, my friends Flibbage (Heir to the throne of Faerie), Yakky (Son of Buffy, my arch nemesis,) and I, accompanied by Flibbage’s little brother Cablim were traipsing across Nepal in search of some freaky faery prophecy. Amongst other things a temple nearly collapsed on us and we escaped only by the use of the secret of good comedy (…timing!). Then along came my parents in a rescue helicopter before Buffy could hatch another evil plan. Between then and now…
…Cablim Returned to Faerie, drank the Elixir of Youth, and had to finish his homework …

… Yakky became a test subject for a new type of anti-allergy medicine…
…Flibbage finished her magical education and was therefore able to Magic things not involving Donkeys and Cabbages…
…A small dog, who didn’t even appear in series one, starred in its own TV show…
…But let me tell you, the adventure was just beginning…

 

Cue: dramatic build up to the theme tune, not unlike ‘Its Rainin’ Men’ 

The writers reached a dead end,
Confirming all our fears.
Couldn’t think of something better,
So they skipped it on ten years.
And so for the second time,
Gather up your token men!
Take your crap machine gun and your floppy disk,
‘Cos they’re trying to kill you agaaaaain!
INU-BU-YAK-ASHA!! (Duhdum)
Yaks and Fairies and- the Czar?
Make a guest appearance…
Tall and thin with spiky hair!
Her life’s in danger and she don’t care!
It’s a foolish faery tale…
Filmed on location in Nepal
With guns, lasers and a waterfaaaaaallll
Ooooooooo! 
They might just get by.
But when Buffy holds a grudge,
The grudgees often die diiiiiiieeeee

INU-BU-YAK-ASHA!

Episode #9; “Happy Birthday, Sweet Fifteen” By Ally [which isn’t fair- she always gets the first episode!]

“Open it, Open it!!!” Leeloo squeaked, dancing from one foot to the other, pigtails waving. Beansprout sighed as she unwrapped the present. “Lools, it’s the last day of term, Everyone here is now over the age of fifteen and the fit lads are watching us. Have a little dign- OH MY GOD!!! It has FLUFF on it!!!” She danced around inanely waving the fluffy notebook and hugged Leeloo hard enough to crack her ribs. “Its pink and fluffy! You’re so sweet!”

Gypsophella (formerly known as Joan) rolled her eyes, quite a feat through the thirty layers of black eyeliner, and handed Beansprout a parcel. “-by the way the 'fit lads'are pointing and laughing.”

“That’s ‘cos they fancy us.” Sprout retorted and Gyps shrugged carefully (She had raised her Gothicness [Hee hee! The word! It’s the word][Authors note; Emily hates this word as it is a word Alice invented that has no grammatical place in the English language. Alice uses this to taunt Emily on a regular basis][...Gothicity? Wait, no. Too much of a Batman vibe.] to an industrial degree and was subsequently scared to move at speed in case she left her face behind). “Wow, the Offspring and Papa Roach!” [And nowadays everyone will read those names and go ‘whoooo?’] [Nah, the Offspring rock. Can’t say I ever really liked Papa Roach. I hate that suicidal music.]

“I would have given you Westlife,” Gyps whispered, “but they only had one copy, and I really wanted it.”

“Gyps, my friend, you can keep it. And there’s no need to whisper, everyone knows your guilty secret.”

They sat on a wall and watched the cars drive past. Lools nudged Beansprout. “Hadn’t you better go home? Family gathering and all that?”

“When I get home I’m going to be in very deep fluff.”[what is with this 'fluff' business? Was Ally channeling the spirit of Winnie the Pooh at the time?]

“Don’t be daft. How could your Mum and Dad be cross on their only child’s birthday?”

“Who said anything about my parents?”

Suddenly a Limosine pulled up to the kerb, a shiny black one with blacked out windows and generally with the blackness. [Urk! Did I really write ‘generally with the blackness’? I’m so inarticulate!][Alas, too many Buffy episodes took their toll]

The door began to open and Beansprout, who had learned the hard way to fear anything stylish, expensive and generally Buffy-esque, dived over the wall into a Rhododendron bush.

Lools and Gyps stared on in wide eyed disbelief as a young man who made the fit lads look rough as fluff,[I cringe with embarrassment] [*Evil cackling*] climbed out and gave them a huge Colgate smile.[I'm pretty certain that this series' conception of Yakky's physical appearance only spirals downwards from this point on. Alternatively these fifteen year old girls might just have rather low standards.][they usually don't]

“Hi, can I ask you something?”

“Anything you want.” Said Lools, practically drooling.

“Your friend, the one who just jumped over the wall in a very cowardly manner, is that Beansprout?”

“Uh, yeah.” She replied crestfallen.

“Good!” the man said and leapt up onto the wall, bringing Lools and Gyps in very close proximity with his gorgeous ass.

“Beansprout? I knew it!”

Beansprout desperately tried to look like a Rhododendron. The man sighed.

“Umm, Go Chelsea?”

“ARGH!” Beansprout stood up so fast she fell over backwards “It’s you!”

Yakky smiled, “Hey! Do you need a lift home?”

“Nope.” She replied bluntly, despite Lools and Gyps making frantic hand signals over the wall at her.

“Why not?”

“I don’t get lifts with anyone. Besides, I might end up having more pointless and life threatening adventures. But,” she relented, seeing his crestfallen expression, “if you needed a guide to show you round the town, I suppose I could be persuaded…” Without waiting for an answer she climbed in. Yakky got into the car, waved goodbye to the two drooling girls left behind and drove off. He looked skeptically at her across the car.

“What?”

“All the ‘Argh! Its you!’ business.”

“Well I thought Buffy might have sent you for a second. Besides, I hadn’t seen you for ten years-”

She punched the dashboard causing small dials to go wobble wobble.

“And?”

“You used to be all spotty and smelly and gross and now you’re glamorous and rich looking, which is also a Buffy-esque trait might I add, and I’m a scruffy lanky teenager instead of a scruffy lanky kid. How is that fair?!”

Yakky was about to give a profound and corny speech about how only inner strength matters, when a postman standing by the road, frantically flagged them down. He held out a gift-wrapped parcel.

“Beansprout Jones?”

“That’s me.” Said Beansprout, leaning over, to accept the package.

“I was under instruction to make sure you personally recieve this parcel.” Beansprout took it off him in a bemused manner and they drove away.

“What was all that about?” Yakky asked.

“It’s my birthday.”

“ Happy Birthday. Which way is your house?”

“Oh don’t take me back yet. I told Flib that she couldn’t come to school because no one around here believes in faeries, and I think she may be plotting an evil plan.”

“Flib lives with you?”

“No, she’s vis-" Beansprout began, when the parcel suddenly and violently exploded.

WHO SENT THE PARCEL?

WILL FLIBBAGE FORGIVE SPROUT?

DOES ANYBODY REALLY CARE ANYMORE?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON INU-BU-YAK-ASHA!

Episode#1 "The Tale Begins."
Episode#2 "Enter the Token Bloke."
Episode#3 "Stop Silicon Valley, I want to Get Off!."
Episode#4 "Faery Frolics and Fun with a Prophecy."
Episode#5 "The Loco Journeys."
Episode#6 "Cablim gets a Nasty Surprise."
Episode#7 "Beandiana Jones and the Temple of Choom."
Episode#8 "Oddball's Odd Behaviour."
Volume 2: Til Death do us Part
Episode#9 "Happy Birthday, Sweet Fifteen."
Episode#10 "The Sprout Sense."
Episode#11 "Four Funerals and another Funeral.
Episode#12 "Misty Water Colour Spirit Realm...."
Episode#13 "Interview with a Vampire Slayer."
Episode#14 "Ra-Ra-Rasputin!"
Volume 3: Space Opera
Episode#15 "Now the Thugs don't Work..."
Episode#16 "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."
Episode#17 "Lardraptors!"
Episode#18 "Go Folk Yo' Mama!"
Episode#19 "The Platetrix."
Episode#20 "In Space no one can Hear you Order Pizza."
Episode#21 "Deepwater Yak."
Episode#22 "Yak trek."
Episode#23 "Planet of the crepes."
Episode#24 "Dude Where's my Comedy Plot Conventions?."
Volume 4: Unconventional
Episode#25 "A Clockwork Beansprout."
Episode#26 "The Long Awaited Explaination."
Episode#27 "Ten things I hate about 'funny' cartoon crossovers."
Episode#28 "The Plan."
Volume 5: Happy Endings
Episode#29 "We're off to See a Werewolf..."
Episode#30 "The Yak and the Beansprout."
Episode#31 "The fellowship of the Thing."
Episode#32 "The one Where the Cast of Friends do Nothing and the Cast of IBYKS do little more."
Episode#33 "Meet your Yak."
Episode#34 "The Laughing Yak."
Episode#35 "Lord of the Thing(s)."
Episode#36 "Extra Extra Special with Magic, Cheese and Tesco."
Episode#37 "Faeries and Werewolves and Yaks, oh My!."
Episode#38 "IBYKS The animated feature film."
Episode#39 "The return of the Parents of the Children."
Episode#40 "Events Concluding Those which Preceeded."
Episode#41 "The Chips of WRATH!."
Episode#42 "In which Cabbage has Angst."
Episode#43 "Heaven is a Shoeshop."
Episode#44 "The Importance of being Soulless."
Episode#45 "Vinyl fantasy."
Volume 6: Killing Time
Episode#46 "Where is My Happy Ending...?"
Episode#47 "The Books of Faerie."
Episode#48 "Back to the Future from the Past..."
Episode#49 "The Time and Space of the Old Dude with the 'tache."
Episode#50 "Sprout, Flib, Yakky & J's Excellent Adventure."
Episode#51 "The Nerds The Nerds!"
Episode#52 "The Land of Reality."
Episode#53 "Ordinary (boring) World."
Episode#54 "Smoke and Mirrors."
Episode#55 "Some things we hate about Clones."
Episode#56 "I've got no Idea what you did Last Summer..."
Episode#57 "The Shoe Towers."
Episode#58 "Pizza is a dish best Served Cold."
Episode#59 "Sprout's Masked Replica."
Episode#60 "Curiouser and Curiouser..."
Episode#61 "Not another Season Finale?."
Volume 7: Intertextuality
pisode#62 "Faerietale."
Episode#63 "When Narrative Functions Turn Bad..."
Episode#64 "Jack, the Beanstalk, The Beauty, The Beast, The Witch, The Wardrobe and Will."
Episode#65 "Its a Good Li(f)e."
Episode#66 "The one with Four Titles..."
Episode#67 "The B Team."
Episode#68 "Narnia Has Nothing on this..."
Episode#69 "Clash of the Heroines."
Episode#70 "To Infinity and Beyond."
Episode#71 "The Thingwraith."
Episode#72 "Ghostmom."
Episode#73 "And all that Black Widow Crap Jazz."
Episode#74 "I've got a theory..."
Episode#75 "Magical Girl- Pretty Scary."
Episode#76 "Wheels within Wheels within Wheels- ARGH!"
Episode#77 "J's Story."
Episode#78 "Irrevocably Broken."
Volume 8: Loose Ends
Episode#79 "Lots of things Begin With Dee."
Episode#80 "Adventures in Slumberland."
Episode#81 "The One with the Revelation."
Episode#82 "Artificial Life Sucks.com."
Episode#83 "Saving Beansprout's Brain."
Episode#84 "The Road is Folking Hard..."
Episode#85 "The One with Gender Issues."
Episode#86 "Disneyland."
Episode#87 "(DEMON)Llama Llama Llama..."
Episode#88 "Perspective."
Episode#89 "Me, Myself and Ai."
Episode#90 "Wedding Cake or Death."
Episode#91 "Real Life.or Pizza, With Extra Cheese."
Extras
Episode#92 "Prologue in Manga Form."
Episode#93 "Curtain Opens."
Episode#94 "Trailer for series six."
Episode#95 "A nepalese Werewolf in London."(Flashback story, prelude to series eight)
Episode#96 "Fantasy Life Sucks."
Episode#97 "Credits Roll."
Episode#98 "IBYKS Companion (Part 1)."
Episode#99 "IBYKS Companion (Part 2)."
Episode#100 "IBYKS Companion (Part 3)."