Volume 1: a Foolish Faerietale
A Very Very Short, Random Inubuyakasha Spin-off Completely Unrelated to Anything in the Series
or
FantasyLifeSucks.com

By Ally


Cabbage and Red were sitting on the porch of the Faerie Castle drinking punch and musing.
“You know,” said Cabbage “it’s a nice evening, the birds are singing, the sun is glowing, and nothing could be more pleasant.”
“I can think of a few things,” Red replied, downing her tenth glass of punch.
“Slut.”
“Thespian.”
“Anyway, it’s all nice, tralalalala, and you know what I’m thinking?”
“If you’re thinking ‘Any minute now those pesky kids are going to turn up and enlist our help in saving the world’,” Red said “I can really sympathise.”
“Fantasy life sucks.”
“So does parenting.”
“We should warn people,” Cabbage said thoughtfully. “You know, we can get free Fairynet space on FlipFlapButterfly.com.”
“OK. Let’s put everything our irritating children do up there for everyone to read,” Red said, and cackled. “Then they’ll be sorry!”
“For what, specifically?”
“For keeping me sober for nine folking months!” Red shouted excessively loudly, and fell off her chair.
“Well, having discovered the root of your alcohol problem, who’s for some Bayleaves?”
“Me me me!”

* * *

The next day, Red woke up with a huge hangover and stumbled downstairs to ask Cabbage where the painkiller tree was (NB the painkiller tree will only let you pick two asprberries, and if you try to overdose it will kick you and kick you and kick you till you see the beauty of life again).
“Hey Red!” Cabbage called brightly from under the pep pill tree, where she was tapping away at her laptop. [I could make comments about Apples and Acorns. I’m not going to. This story is becoming dangerously wholesome.]
“Wh’t’ve’yu’b’n’doin’?”
“Well, I got our webspace, copied up the adventures of our children, did some pictures, wrote a bit about you and a bit about me, and took a whole branch of these lovely lovely pills!”
“Oh no!” cried Red woefully. “I feel so lazy! I must have some input!”
“You did, you wrote an overly dramatic intro when you were drunk.”
“That’s going, for a start.”
“You can always write a bit about you and a bit about me, and then everyone will know what we think of each other and ourselves.”
“OK, but promise you won’t be offended.”
“You get offended, not me.”
“How dare you!”

* * *

Three weeks later…
“I finished the bit about you and the bit about me,” Red said.
“Yay!” said Cabbage, through pavlova. “Now we sit back and wait for people to visit and comment on our wisdom and brilliance.”

* * *

Six months later…
“WHY, GOD?! WHY?!” Cabbage howled at the sky.
“Why what?” Red slurred.
“Why did Flibbage borrow my purple boots and lose them in the River Styx?”
“Oh, I thought you were howling about why no-one looks at our site.”
“WHY, GOD?! WHYYYYYY?!!!!”

* * *

After some hasty proclamations by Cabbage…
“Isn’t the site amazing?” said Fleckini.
“Why yes,” said the Twizard.
“Hey, Red, you should look at Cabbage’s site,” Heathcliffe told Red.
“Cabbage’s and RED’S site!” Red shrieked, and smashed a bottle on the edge of the table.
“But you don’t put anything on it.”
“I’M GOING TO!!”
“Uh…why are you talking to?” asked Heathcliffe.
“MY CONSCIENCE!!!” shouted Red, and stomped off [or should that be flounced?]

* * *

One morning in spring…
Cabbage scanned in her latest picture, put it on the disk with Red’s short story [wheels within wheels… ^_^] and accessed the site with a wave of her wand. When this did nothing she said a faerie binary [Finery?]spell and waved her wand again. The screen stayed blank. Cabbage kicked the computer.
The site appeared as a ghostly shadow of its former self, then went swimmy and whirled into nothingness.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Cabbage screamed.
“What? What?” asked Red, rushing in. “Is it the boots? The boots are gone, Cabbage, long gone!”
“THE SITE’S GONE LONG GONE!!!” Cabbage wailed.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Deep inside FaeryNet, a creation of the NGSPIB, who were very pissed off at having their secrets revealed to a tiny fraction of the world, looked at what it had learned and spiralled off into cyberspace.




[Tada! My story. Em thought I should cut the last bit, but I like it, so I’ll just let everyone know – this story has no relevance to ANYTHING has happened, will happen or is happening in Inubuyakasha. Unless we decide it will. So there.][actually by changing a mere three words I have made it relevant...ooo]


Episode#1 "The Tale Begins."
Episode#2 "Enter the Token Bloke."
Episode#3 "Stop Silicon Valley, I want to Get Off!."
Episode#4 "Faery Frolics and Fun with a Prophecy."
Episode#5 "The Loco Journeys."
Episode#6 "Cablim gets a Nasty Surprise."
Episode#7 "Beandiana Jones and the Temple of Choom."
Episode#8 "Oddball's Odd Behaviour."
Volume 2: Til Death do us Part
Episode#9 "Happy Birthday, Sweet Fifteen."
Episode#10 "The Sprout Sense."
Episode#11 "Four Funerals and another Funeral.
Episode#12 "Misty Water Colour Spirit Realm...."
Episode#13 "Interview with a Vampire Slayer."
Episode#14 "Ra-Ra-Rasputin!"
Volume 3: Space Opera
Episode#15 "Now the Thugs don't Work..."
Episode#16 "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."
Episode#17 "Lardraptors!"
Episode#18 "Go Folk Yo' Mama!"
Episode#19 "The Platetrix."
Episode#20 "In Space no one can Hear you Order Pizza."
Episode#21 "Deepwater Yak."
Episode#22 "Yak trek."
Episode#23 "Planet of the crepes."
Episode#24 "Dude Where's my Comedy Plot Conventions?."
Volume 4: Unconventional
Episode#25 "A Clockwork Beansprout."
Episode#26 "The Long Awaited Explaination."
Episode#27 "Ten things I hate about 'funny' cartoon crossovers."
Episode#28 "The Plan."
Volume 5: Happy Endings
Episode#29 "We're off to See a Werewolf..."
Episode#30 "The Yak and the Beansprout."
Episode#31 "The fellowship of the Thing."
Episode#32 "The one Where the Cast of Friends do Nothing and the Cast of IBYKS do little more."
Episode#33 "Meet your Yak."
Episode#34 "The Laughing Yak."
Episode#35 "Lord of the Thing(s)."
Episode#36 "Extra Extra Special with Magic, Cheese and Tesco."
Episode#37 "Faeries and Werewolves and Yaks, oh My!."
Episode#38 "IBYKS The animated feature film."
Episode#39 "The return of the Parents of the Children."
Episode#40 "Events Concluding Those which Preceeded."
Episode#41 "The Chips of WRATH!."
Episode#42 "In which Cabbage has Angst."
Episode#43 "Heaven is a Shoeshop."
Episode#44 "The Importance of being Soulless."
Episode#45 "Vinyl fantasy."
Volume 6: Killing Time
Episode#46 "Where is My Happy Ending...?"
Episode#47 "The Books of Faerie."
Episode#48 "Back to the Future from the Past..."
Episode#49 "The Time and Space of the Old Dude with the 'tache."
Episode#50 "Sprout, Flib, Yakky & J's Excellent Adventure."
Episode#51 "The Nerds The Nerds!"
Episode#52 "The Land of Reality."
Episode#53 "Ordinary (boring) World."
Episode#54 "Smoke and Mirrors."
Episode#55 "Some things we hate about Clones."
Episode#56 "I've got no Idea what you did Last Summer..."
Episode#57 "The Shoe Towers."
Episode#58 "Pizza is a dish best Served Cold."
Episode#59 "Sprout's Masked Replica."
Episode#60 "Curiouser and Curiouser..."
Episode#61 "Not another Season Finale?."
Volume 7: Intertextuality
pisode#62 "Faerietale."
Episode#63 "When Narrative Functions Turn Bad..."
Episode#64 "Jack, the Beanstalk, The Beauty, The Beast, The Witch, The Wardrobe and Will."
Episode#65 "Its a Good Li(f)e."
Episode#66 "The one with Four Titles..."
Episode#67 "The B Team."
Episode#68 "Narnia Has Nothing on this..."
Episode#69 "Clash of the Heroines."
Episode#70 "To Infinity and Beyond."
Episode#71 "The Thingwraith."
Episode#72 "Ghostmom."
Episode#73 "And all that Black Widow Crap Jazz."
Episode#74 "I've got a theory..."
Episode#75 "Magical Girl- Pretty Scary."
Episode#76 "Wheels within Wheels within Wheels- ARGH!"
Episode#77 "J's Story."
Episode#78 "Irrevocably Broken."
Volume 8: Loose Ends
Episode#79 "Lots of things Begin With Dee."
Episode#80 "Adventures in Slumberland."
Episode#81 "The One with the Revelation."
Episode#82 "Artificial Life Sucks.com."
Episode#83 "Saving Beansprout's Brain."
Episode#84 "The Road is Folking Hard..."
Episode#85 "The One with Gender Issues."
Episode#86 "Disneyland."
Episode#87 "(DEMON)Llama Llama Llama..."
Episode#88 "Perspective."
Episode#89 "Me, Myself and Ai."
Episode#90 "Wedding Cake or Death."
Episode#91 "Real Life.or Pizza, With Extra Cheese."
Extras
Episode#92 "Prologue in Manga Form."
Episode#93 "Curtain Opens."
Episode#94 "Trailer for series six."
Episode#95 "A nepalese Werewolf in London."(Flashback story, prelude to series eight)
Episode#96 "Fantasy Life Sucks."
Episode#97 "Credits Roll."
Episode#98 "IBYKS Companion (Part 1)."
Episode#99 "IBYKS Companion (Part 2)."
Episode#100 "IBYKS Companion (Part 3)."